i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
whose parrot is this?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
