Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
