Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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