I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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