Your dad touched me again.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
