You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
