ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
