Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
