Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
