Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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