3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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