in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
