she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
