i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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