Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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