He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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