I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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