haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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