Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
