I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
