No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
