why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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