I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
