is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
third nipple confirmed
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
