Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
