i wish my penis had a tongue
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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