Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
