my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
