Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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