I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
