The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
