member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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