im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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