had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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