I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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