Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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