he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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