Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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