I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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