i think i scared a bird with my dick
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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