I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
