Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
