Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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