Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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