i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
