never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
