porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
