I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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