whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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