im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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