I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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